silver harbour – pt 2

SILVER HARBOUR – pt 2 (for pt 1 – see february 26th, 2007 post)

NB – the following post discusses a place we moved to a few years back.

noticeably absent from the landscape? starbucks, blenz, and the rest of the frou-frou coffee shops on every city block. city blocks. concrete phallic symbols – aka skyscrapers. construction cranes dotting the horizon. and … oh, the horizon! one which you could see for miles and miles. open to the possibilities that one could make for oneself. a lonely, empty horizon, beckoning new life. silence abounded. everywhere. it seemed i’d rode into a cell of still life. nothing. remote. noticeably absent from the landscape? retail enterprises within walking distance. and all the beautiful, shiny, happy people. you know? the ones that like containment … of life. the ones that tell us to stuff our raw, delicate emotions into rubbermaid containers, where we can no longer see or feel them. well – i could see no shiny happy people in the vicinity. wysiwyg. i had entered wysiwyg land.

i failed to notice how alone, insignificant and powerless life still left me feeling, as i marvelled at the wonders of wysiwyg – remote rural life. did i embrace this life change as fully as i believed? perhaps … perhaps … i only embraced it as an escape from the status quo. the one i believed i left behind in vancouver. however … one must often learn the hard way – status quo = oneself. status quo cannot fall away from oneself through a mere change of scenery. status quo can only fall away with an intense bout of molting. as in … a giant snake molting its skin. life still felt like something happening to me … as opposed to ME, happening to IT.

i marvelled. at the silent simplicity of each day, as its petals unfurled. i marvelled. at the silent, steady and constant resolve of the people who dotted the landscape. i marvelled. at the gentle wisdom of the does and the stags, the elk and the coyotes … who shared their quarters with us humans, in this place. i wondered …. what words lay on the mouth of lake winnipeg, whom I could hear, sighing ceasely, from the tiny cabin we would call home for the next year?

hummingbirds fluttered ceasely, like the beating of my unsettled heart, right outside my lving room window. the matrix of nature – in its purest form – weaving itself masterfully, before my wonderous, weary and sad eyes. the icey breath of old man winter brought desolation, utter paralysis – a chilling silence, as the sighs of my friend, the lake, grew silent. silence – a flawless reflector. of oneself. it strips a soul. leaving it naked, defenseless against the elements. and so – i stood. naked. shivering in the wind. shuddering at my petty insignificance. for all the world to see.

i wonder …. what did i see there, in my SELF?

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~ by frizzyscissorhands on April 26, 2007.

5 Responses to “silver harbour – pt 2”

  1. ello’..ello!!!!..How are you doing?..Been some time I know..and what a cool change this is..very calming…so soothing….

    Read your posts..and followed through to the post where you wrote about guns…

    Can I say that the only guns I like are those that shoot water??..That would be fun!..Anything else that shoots other than water ( well soda would be okay) should be banned.

    I hope you have a pleasant day today..Thinking of you…

  2. hi your other blogs are gone.

    hope you are well, thank you for the post cards.

    I appreciate that very much.

    the sun is coming back…

  3. hi. luxie – have thought of you. have been in a dark rut these past few days.

    guns – yes only the water shooting kind.

    infini – the other blogs i just hid – the list makes my profile look cluttered. links to all my blogs are at the top of this page here – just where my profile ‘about a doe’ is – above the blog posts.

    in case anyone wonders, pictured in that most recent post is virginia woolf. i have thought a lot about here. read about what i thought about, specifically, here. i kid you not. i seriously wished i could be virginia woolf yesterday.

    that feeling has past. but the darkness still lurks around the corner.

    happy mayday!

  4. I know, I was wondering about that. but I knew you woul pull out of it… why? his name is Logan, and i knew you would not break his heart.

    Ah, my friend, thank you soooo much for the extra postcards, I just got them today… (just went to the po box i mean)

    So I am cleanin my house and will have all post cards in my sparkle elephant clip from excellent you soon.

    I hope you are OK.

    have you seen the video on my blog yet? that may make you smile…

    I MUST clean, am having company on Friday, you know how it goes, have had a 2 month migraine, and it came back 3 days ago… but I will persevere.

    you will too.

    xxoo

  5. dear infini –

    many thanx for your concern;

    i knew that someone out there would know whom that picture portrayed.

    i am ok, now. almost checked myself into the hospital – almost. i will write a post about this soon. many things wrapped up in this latest … ? … (not sure what to call it).

    for now, suffice it to say what the rolling stones said best (tho this is only part of it):

    “you can always get what you want. but if you try sometimes, you find, you get what you need.”

    cryptic, i know. but, perhaps not to you, or susan … or anyone who’s been in that hellish place i visited yesterday and the day b4.

    there is a g-d. there absolutely is. i would not be here if there wasn’t.

    and that’s all i’ll say for now … ’til i get my assignment completed.

    i will check out blogs later, perhaps, or tomorrow. i broke down and started a youtube site. nuthing that interesting yet (except for all the kewl kewl videos i faved!)… i will make a vid soon … perhaps with my wolf – when he returns saturday pm.

    d’ya like the post cards? thought you might. whenever i see something kewl or different i will send it, k?

    love, me

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